Choosing love over fear.

It has been two years since I have written a blog. During this time, the pandemic hit, and suddenly my articles about the benefits of slowing down seemed out of place. After all, around the world folks were shuttered in place, with illness, loss, grief, malaise, and separation. This collective pause, although shared, was not equal; some enjoyed the opportunity to spend more time with their immediate families, while others were met with greater mental health challenges, family strain, and financial struggles. It has been a time where the very threads of our connectivity as humans have become a reason to feel fear, where the uncertainty of what may come next has shaken many of us to our core. Will I pass along the virus to others? Will I get sick? When will all of this end?

And still today, a year and a half into the pandemic the fear remains - many of us worried about being too close to others, concerned over who is or isn’t vaccinated, and uncertain about new variants and how we will move forward as a society. 

While it may seem like there is a laundry list of reasons to continue to be fearful right now, it is important that we don’t let it win. A democracy, after all, is dependant on the participation of its electorate to ensure the values of the nation are upheld; both post-911 America and Germany in the late 1930s show that when we embrace fear as a collective, we are less willing to tolerate alternative perspectives and we are more likely to give up our own rights and freedoms (or the rights and freedoms of others), which can lead to policies and decisions that we could later regret. 

Beyond the havoc that fear can reap on the fabric of a democracy, however, there is a second and more important reason to keep our fears in check: love. While fear can lead to ‘othering’, or perpetuating social stigma in a way that creates a sense of separateness between “us” and “them”, love transcends these divisions by honing in on what is common among us (our desire to be happy and to be healthy, for example) and our bonds as a human collective. 

In Buddhist traditions, a loving Kindness meditation is one way to build the muscles of love and compassion for ourselves and others. We can also informally practice loving kindness when we are around others. At the grocery store, for example, I silently say to the people I pass, “may you be healthy” and I find I am better able to connect to their humanity (despite whether they are wearing a mask, or not). Each time, I am reminded that my neighbour is not someone to be feared….they are simply my neighbour, with the same fears and wishes as I have. It is a practice that helps me to build the muscle of love and compassion for others in this challenging time. Each time and again and again, I try to practice choosing love over fear.