INTEGRATE

Have you ever wished your life had some sort of an instruction manual? A hefty tome made specifically for you, delivered at your birth and containing answers to all the possible questions you may encounter in your life? Which program should I take at school? Should I enter into this relationship? Should I take that job? Should I step into the unknown or rest in the safety of what I am currently doing? Ahh...the applications for this manual would be endless! We could navigate life’s questions with more grace and ease and step forward (or stay put) with greater certainty and faith.

It has been a jaw-dropping ten months since my last blog post. In those months my life was stretched and twisted—in some ways familiar and in other ways new. Now I’ve returned to my computer and noticed that things have shifted for me; things have shifted so much that I now realize I don’t want to be another voice among a myriad of voices asking people to be better with a conveniently placed link of what I offer to sell you. Enough with this marketing barrage and enough with the shame that sinks in when we feel we are somehow not measuring up. The truth is, living in this modern world is hard; at times, it can be really fucking hard. The loss of loved ones, the end of relationships, unhealthy relationships, worry about work, children, finances, never-ending demands, illness, climate change, geopolitical uncertainty—the list can be endless. Right?

Often when I share with others that I help people to slow down and become more intentional in their day-to-day life, I hear a response that sounds something like this:

“I would love to slow down, but I can’t. There is really no time or space in my life for me to take the time I need.”

I get it. Life is busy. Raising kids, running a household, maintaining one’s health, being a good friend, excelling at work—they all take time, focus and energy and it can feel like we don’t have any control over the demands placed on us. But the truth is, regardless of how busy our life is, each of us has the power to make an intentional and deliberate choice about how we approach it.

We all have the power to choose.

So, if you are currently finding your life busy, overwhelming or exhausting, there is one important question you might want to ask yourself:

Think back on your day yesterday. If you were to choose a word to describe its pace, what would it be? Frantic? Rushed? Hectic? A complete blur? (Okay, that is more than one word). Now, think back on your last week. Can you see a theme emerging in how your days are unfolding?

When I am caught up in the busyness or distractedness of life, a lot of shame bubbles up. Why am I not a better ..............  (insert any of the following: friend, partner, coach, facilitator, business owner, sister, aunt, community member)? In all of the rush, it can feel like I am not enough, that I am somehow falling short or missing the mark in some or all areas of my life.  

If you have lived on this planet long enough, it is likely you have days or moments that are as clear today as they were when they happened. One such memory for me was during my time at university in the 90s. I was in my second year, it was a spring morning and I was late for class. As I hurriedly wove my way around and through the other people walking to campus, I heard someone behind me shout out my name. I turned my head and found my friend Carolyn waving. In that moment I realized, in my rush, I had sped right past her on the sidewalk without even a glimmer of recognition. I gave her a big smile and a curt wave and turned around like a woman on a mission.

“Sorry, no time for a chat. I need to get to class,” I shouted into the air, “but let’s visit soon!”

I am a professional Integral Coach.

I work with clients to help them make the shift from where they are, to where they want to be.

I am also a visual facilitator.

As a visual facilitator, I use large sheets of paper to help individuals and groups move through a process. I do this work in offices (strategic planning, visioning), at schools, and on one-on-one retreats in beautiful places like Banff (personal/professional visioning).

It was not until I found myself recovering from adrenal fatigue that I started to realize how important food is in supporting optimal health and wellbeing. Before that, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I was a healthy eater (and I was…mostly). I ate sustainably as much as I could, I steered clear of processed foods and tried my best to choose foods that were nutritious. Yet, there I was, sitting in a naturopath’s office and listening to the results from a myriad of tests that all seemed to confirm that my body was depleted, that I was not adequately absorbing the nutrients in my food.

“You need to not only focus on what you put into your body”, she said to me, “but you need to pay attention to how you put food into your body”.

In late August I headed back home, along with my three siblings, to surprise my father for his 80th birthday. It was a surprise that lacked all the regular fan fair. Spouses and grandchildren were left behind (in the various provinces and states they call home). There were no balloons, no presents and not even a cake. The gift was our presence with each other; time spent together, live and in the flesh. For three days, we simply went about living together. We chatted over coffee, went for walks, ate good food and visited some of the local attractions in our home town (fish derby, winery, local park). It was just the six of us for the first time in more than 25 years, and this fact alone was enough to captivate all of us.